Thanks Giving

My mother called me this morning to say she wouldn't be coming to telluride with me, my sister and my step-father.  He has a sympathy deficiency.  Only sees faults.  I'm sure a psychoanalyst could give many names to his in-capability, but he's too self righteous to see one.  Of course a person who is truly righteous doesn't need to be self righteous, and what he truly is is terrified and crippled by it.  What he's afraid of, i can't say.  Probably he thinks his world will collapse if he lets up for one moment.  Probably he knows, has always known, that his empathy circuits are askew, and simply admitting it wouldn't fix it but only make him feel inferior.  Probably he feels inferior and makes up for it by dominating and belittling others rather than making an attempt to re-wire, and learn to care.  Maybe divorce would teach him a lesson, I don't know.  What i can say is that i wish they were willing to try MDMA together.  I think it would help him immensely to see a little beauty and love for once, and i think it would help them work things out in a positive way.  I'm going to suggest it but they are both blinded to the benefits of psychedelics by pre-conceived notions.  I know all will be well one way or another in time.  I'm thankful today for all the beauty in this world and the ability to appreciate it.  I'm thankful for my faith in life to bring us all we need as long as we know love.